How to develop independence in preschool children
The family grows the baby. How do you want us parents to become successful and happy. From early childhood we spare no expense or effort to develop his abilities. However, always achieve the expected result?
We must remember that any abilities or specific skills young children develop only in the interesting play activities.
The success of the child in different activities depends significantly on the development of his overall ability to act independently. Often, however, it is the development of the autonomy of the child is least concerned parents. And they are surprised to find that the child lags behind his peers, only when starting, for example, led him to kindergarten. With some children there is a lot of problems because they almost don’t know anything – they are used every moment of their life, from dressing and feeding, to walk and to establish contacts with other children provides adults.
These children just don’t have any experience of independent activity, and teachers have to teach them basic self-help skills and communication. Practice shows that the main cause of the lack of autonomy of the child is primarily in terms of its home care, how to relate to the problem of the autonomy of the child, his parents and other adults in the family. If the child is successful and is reinforced by the encouragement of adults, it naturally grows and deepens self-confidence, develops the ability in the future manifestation of self.
Sometimes parents complain that they are willing to give the child the freedom to manifest activity, but he “does not want”. Maybe he already does not want, as many times before received a negative experience and not just risking to repeat it again?
In other words, raising the activity of the adults is often prohibitory in nature and thereby inhibits the activity of the child. It is important to provide the child with necessary assistance, so that any difficulties were not insurmountable, and casual, but clear negative emotions “not discouraged” would not “stumbling block” towards the development of self-reliance.
However not less important, so to say, “not overdo it”, that is, helping the child to avoid the other extreme – not to do what the child already can do myself. Little effort is essential for its further development. They should be supported. A famous physician and teacher Benjamin Spock advises: you Should learn to suppress the urge to rush to the aid of the child whenever he engages in dangerous events.
Certain qualities and abilities of a child appear gradually, with the development of different activities. Therefore, for the development of those or other desirable qualities are not enough to talk about them – you need some way to organize, to build everyday life and, most importantly, the activities of the child, and from early childhood.
Raising a child, every adult in their demands to him is forced to “balance” between the two bands: unconditional obedience, or unlimited freedom. Need some “Golden mean”, involving some “corridors of freedom”, with certain rules and restrictions.
Fundamentally the approach to the development of independence is the same as in the formation of any capacity:
It is necessary to create conditions that require the child to the permanent manifestations of independence. While of course it is important to consider the individual qualities and the innate qualities of a child: especially the nervous system, body Constitution, all of this, of course, has a substantial influence on the process activities. Therefore, in the same conditions, different children are different, and the result is always individual achievements, because every child is a special world, a unique individual.
If autonomy is constantly “trained” in different situations with different conditions, then eventually “fixed” as a positive personal experience of the child and thereby become quality of his personality. For the development of self-reliance doesn’t matter what a child does, as long as he did it himself. You must provide as much autonomy at all stages – from making the decision to do something to execute their plans and evaluation of the results obtained. Although the content of action plays a supporting, secondary role is very important a positive attitude and, of course, a successful outcome – that the child was experiencing joy, pleasure, both from the action and the outcome.
Bright toy causes a desire to touch her. Child happily runs (runs) to it. But if several attempts fail, there comes a negative reaction (tears) and may not re efforts.
And if you just give the child everything he wants, anticipating his every desire? Yes, of course, he will gradually stop trying to achieve anything on their own, but will get used to receive and then to demand from parents fulfill their growing needs. And if the mother together with grandmother continue to appease the growing child, immediately responding to their needs, inevitably grows infantile and often very demanding creature, entirely dependent on their “nurses”. They may be already burdened his chosen role, I dream to see their grown children independent and successful, but continue to solve all life’s problems, because he practically has little.
Man as a personality is formed mainly by the five or six years. Today it has been proved that man can evolve and improve throughout his life, until old age. The main thing that he had a desire to change themselves, creative attitude to life and confidence in their abilities.
The Foundation for such a positive and creative relationship of the individual (as the basis of his future success) is laid in early childhood, when everything is just beginning.
Therefore, the best that can give parents to their children, from early childhood to believe in themselves and to constantly expand the scope of their practical independence.
Seven rules, which will help parents to develop independence of the child:
To include the child in activities where he can succeed and not to require yet another hard day it tasks.
Gradually widen the circle of the child’s achievements, encouraging and supporting him in difficult moments and at the same time teaching the necessary “rules of the game”.
Helping to overcome difficulties, not do for the child what he can do himself.
Allow the child to make independent decisions and be responsible for themselves, stimulating the emergence of his natural sense of responsibility.
Supporting a child when he can help someone, to protect the weaker, to share toys, sweets, the child got the experience of self-assertion (the ability to give is a sign of positive force).
To maintain a child’s sense of self-esteem and confidence, even in situations of criticism or the prohibition of its adverse action (a bad deed).
In any situation be primarily loving parents, a sensitive approach which is the main source of spiritual strength successful child mental development.